oh my it is good to be a working woman.
hanging out with becca and j dirt and EVERYTHING is great!
school lab
Mim brought me subway
i think i am getting a sore throat.
i REALLY miss eli and wish i could see hime now.
we tried the new panera sandwich this morning.
today i made some eye fluids for eye surgeries.
i look like a bunny in my white surgery gown or like an ET person
oh bummer we missed conan :( sad face
HAHAHAHA
trying to get physics done and finished.
almost done.
i got my flu shot today yayayayay
I love You Eli

good morning sunshine.
feeling ill
plain day school work
hott lesbian date
grandpa sleeing in my bed with a respirator and his wife
what a messed up surprize to come home to.
i want to find my place and be content with everything in my life.
i need to get to that point.
i had ditched my friends twice today
once the chocolate chip pancakes breakfast plus ride to school
and the other 
gossip girl night plus the office and hair curling.
but /// i am glad i went to steak n shake instead.
i feel tons better now.
tons a lot.

i had so much fun today and...
I'M ON FIRE!!!!!!!

friday physics, rain, Nap, steak n shake-
celerated mims birthday at church had a blast baked a cake
read about dorcas
and mim had a party hat balloons streamers and all that jazz
we hung out with my family til one
lexi and i did the dishes-
she is the lil sister i never had

love woke me up this morning-
and we went to get my hair done
it looks EXACTLY like how i wanted it to be
its perfect
i give mindy a ten
she is realll nice and i loved talking to her
we had so much to talk about.
and plenty of time to talk lol
hair took three hours.
eli and i went to one world and he fed me hummus
like in the kitchen that one time.
Their pizza is way good
i saw pw there.
we went to sallys and got hair supplies
went to the mall shopped forever
got lots of clothes and some shoes and video games.
we hung out for a lil while and i went home
put blue in LEXI'S hair. it looks gooood.
then i pierced her lip.
it looks GOOOD.
her mom is going to be so mad at me.
oh well: it loooks goood.
liz got me an awesome birthday present
i will take her to skin dimensions and get her a starter kit of
bare minerals.

I feel atop the world =)
popcorn and biggest loser
we played clue with dalton and his new gf shannon
dalton won BOO!
eel went to kody's to plan the NYC trip
dad came home late from work.
we did hair facials and put stars on our nails
we are having a sleep over and both have love on our pj pants.

I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings 
I've Got Hurt Feelings, I've Got Hurt Feelings
I've Got Hurt Feelings, I've Got Hurt Feelings
I can pose for you.
Oh no thanks
I've Got Hurt Feelings, I've Got Hurt Feelings
I've Got Hurt Feelings, I've Got Hurt Feelings, Hurt Feelings
I got hurt feelings, I got hurt feelings.
They’re all lined up to watch that movie
“Maid in Manhattan.”
Have you even been told that your @ss is too big?
Have you ever been asked if your hair is a wig?
Have you ever been told you’re mediocre in bed?
Have you ever been told you’ve got a weird-shaped head?
Has your family ever forgotten you and driven away?
Once again, they forgot about J
Were you ever called “homo” ‘cuz at school you took drama?
Have you ever been told that you look like a llama?

Have you ever been made fun of cause of where you were from?
Have you ever been dissed over the intercom?
Have you ever found a gift you've given thrown away?
Have you ever been told that your the wrong shape?
Have you ever been told that your Ms.New Zealand?
Have you ever had hurt feelings?

Tears of a rapper (tears of a rapper),
I’m crying tears of a rapper
Tears of a rapper

today has had great beginnings
beca made me pancakes
rachael made me eggs
j dirt braided my hair real pretty for school

its 10 am and my work is turned in
i had panera coffee
i am going to meet rach and becca in the cafe

you are a slatternly woman

eli likes my white shirt<3

i'm happy.
i'm happy.
i'm happy.
i'm happy.


he keeps me in a constant state of happiness.


=)
although we have lost some: being, josh sam eric mark
we have suddenly gained some: dawn, melieah, Audie, Abby, Lexi
church was fun we made pots out of play dough.
eli made popcorn for the kids.
Its so strange how grown up the two oldest girls are.
I want more then anything for us to bond.
i babysat last night and miriah had a bloody nose.
zander kept singing about how
he loves to p00p on the babysitter.

I napped then hung out with eli and my family.
i like dalton's friend lauren she is pretty nice.
weekends go by too fast

And sometimes when you're on
You're really fuckin on
And your friends they sing along
And they love you
But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems fuckin cheap

this isn't
happening
happening
happening
happening
happening

it. is.

And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.

hey hey HEY!
today was excellent.
love woke me up with morning!
and made me a smiling face breakfast
and good coffee.
i was late b/c traffic.
i really love physics.
i like my teachers for physics-
went to andersons
picked up a stray and the cops pulled up questioning him.
we went to jimmy johns and then the dog park
hiked all over the woods with becca and ryan phillips
got muddy scratched up and soaked on the trail
not an established trail.
beautiful DAY =)
we dropped off ryan and made my appointment at sculptures-
we read the film chapters out loud to eachother and the sociology book
i cant say that word for the life of me!
ice cream and beef jerky.
made massage appointments.
i miss grandma barney
colby killed two people he is not in jail.
sept 23 is blink in which billy got more tickets
BUT it is also la dispute plaing in IL
i feel left out often.
but then i see how my ma is left out of her grandbabie's life NOW that
is pretty messed up / way more hurtful sort of left out.

lets get sentimental.

it is the wishing time.
carpool with becca and rachael
alternating drivers had panera
guys cleaned out the cobwebs.
i loved school its awesome to have becca and rachael in 3 out of 4 of my classes.
all my teachers were decent.
tomorrow i have a physics lecture and lab that i missed on monday.
its an inferno up here.
i am crossing off my to-do list little by little.
bought/sold books today.
mailed off that rebate.
called about taxes.
missed big brother for good reason.
my boy made me an amazing brinner.
had some of sarahs yum peach cobbler.
called my ma--- gpa had some biopsy today

And if I do not miss a part of you, a part of me is dead.

yesterday:wake school library bar louie with caleb
went to rach's for the movie obsessed with dirty her and becca and russ
went to BWW with elI threw a sword into a spiderweb
and then went to the 'park' AFter dark.
it doesnt look much like a park.

dreading school in everyway possible.
riding with rach and beca
i hate driving so i won't
ughh i dont want to go.

-seriously-

(more tickets for blink in september
playing with weezer.
BLINK 182 IS AWESOME!)

puppy chow-sammy-& the babe


this is how it works:
kiss me and i will be yours forever.


----Don't explain yourself 'cause talk is cheap
There's more important things than hearing you speak
hahahahahaha
----


Gomen nasais
Mujhe maaf kardo
Przepraszam
Sli'kha

thursday i worked from 6-3 at the hospital.
hung out with liz
picked up icc books and had panera.
hung out with liz the baby and mondo.
went home
watched big brother with eli and went to liz's -then beccas
i left beccas and went to cody's party.
at that country club
it was crazieness. dajn alisha jray were there
half a million people were there
i started throwing up so much-
it wasnt cuz of alcohol
beer pong flippy cup-
nah,
i felt sick because that fat chick is vomit inducing
what fat chick isnt? ha
-"You don't know how sick you make me
You make me fucking sick to my stomache
everytime i think of you i puke"
grosses me out - i had nightmares.
friday i worked 6 am - 9 pm with a short hour nap between jobs.
i had a pretty fun day.
dispensing drugs then going to try and learn the new system.
K after work eli and i went to see
Inglorious Basterds and it WAS AMAZING
I LOVE LOVE LOVED IT!!!!!!!!!!!
i want to see it again soon!
easily the best movie of the century

I GOT NO REGRET RIGHT NOW
Fuck it, it's such a blur (I’m feeling this)
I love all the things you do (I’m feeling this)


Friday:
i got dolled up for our 6 months date
and he looked realll good
we went to the fish house
that i've been dying to try.
it was perfect! classy place
and my flowers were hottpinkandred
REALLY TRULY LOVELY batch of painted flowers
i ordered prawn- very good!
there were people over and a fire
and smores and *lemonade*
and pineapple express was good
green goblin's son
we woke up and went to my work meeting a half hour early.
slept in the car
steve didnt let anyone get a word in
steve is an awful name YUCK for any steve i have ever met!
and marjee had something to say about everything
i got an award for passing this test.
i get a pay increase b/c of it. woot
jane took me to mims i slept til billy picked me up.
helped my mom move stuff.
we left around two.
i got panera and lost my keys
he stole straws.
always stealin things.
we made good time.
the sweet people next to us gave me pink *lemonade*
i met rach allie becca john devan bryce and abby in there.
i got a hoodie and accidently took two bracelets and
gave one back.
panic and fall out boy sucked like i guessed they would ha.
terrible.
bearable though- definately bearable!
fob's stage performance wasn't bad.
i keep killin bugs on my screen that are swarming around.
I WAS FILLED WITH EXCITEMENT FROM HEAD TO TOE
during blink
I LOVE THEM!!! so freaking much!
yeahhheyeahahhh
i love blink times a million!*!*!!*!
travis' drum solo SO AMAZING and hip-hop
oh my!
so many awesome songs!
took us forever to get home
waiting in line to get out billy was beer bonging.
jon drove my car home!!!!!
which was gr8 cuz i dont have cruze and i didnt want to drive much
i drove over a median and got in the wrong part of the drive thru ha/
billy got lost on the way home from lc
auster went crazy
i made it home at 5 am/
woke up for church picked up wade and dalton drove
we made the sermon part and
brandy was there
we went to co-op and denny's yuck denny's
i took a nap then went to flat top with eli
later on i went to see perfect getaway with caleb nick and 3 girls.it was a weird movie didnt make much since.
hung out at the lake.
and i didnt wake anyone up when i got home.
got 3 hours of sleep and went to work
forgot to take my nose ring out=
not on the schedule much
work is awesome at the hospital i love it!
monday: worked then dishes we had steak @ my pops
and he got me an amazing new phone
it lights up like fireworks
takes incredible pictures
good phone. rhythm- :)
tuesday: BEST EPISODE OF BIG BROTHER thus far in 11
we watched spider man.
wed: morning tyme !
i liked my morning til work
at 1 . we got trained on the new system
we go live tomorrow!
got invited to cody's party tonight.
the cool kids will be there.
i have laundry to do instead.
Tomorrow i get paid i think?
no... that is not what i am in to // at all.
no thanks for me yuck. on second thought.
yeahh i will take one of those slutz.
i held jade and played with her.
talking to rachael now
we are cutting our hair off together
yay.
hanging out with liz after work tomorrow !

Don't waste your time on me you're already
The voice inside my head

It's alright / to tell me / what you think / about me
I won't try / to argue / or hold it / against you
The season / is calling / your pictures / are falling down
Well I guess this is growing up


Like violence you kill me, forever and after.


i picked up the pieces of my broken ego
i have finally made my peace as far as you and me go.


.ha.
My head is made up of memories
Most of them useless delusions
This room is bored of rehearsal
And sick of the boundaries
I miss you so much

getting ready for work i was thinking about how much i missed my grandma barney
on the way to work i saw a license plate that read -gdma b-
WOW everyone called her grandma b
=)
R.I.P. grandma Barney

i knew someone's birthday was this month but i couldnt THINK OF WHOSE!!! so frustrating-
anyway///
i get to work dalton texts me that today was jacks birthday!
so tomorrow i am taking him and dalton to the zoo to pet LIVE BABY CUBS =)
ahhhh i am excited.
last few months I have been living with this couple-
Yeah, you know, the kind who buy everything in doubles-
you know?
techs/pharmacists at the hospital job invited me to see bubblegum jack
i babysit whenever they play
but this saturday i am going to Blink with Billy.
becca allie lane and others are going to that show too
it'll be amazing! blink is awesome
I went in surgery and cath lab today : IT DOESN't get much more exciting than that.
i love that job with my bunny suit. and its just awesome!
saw dam today
not much said there. eh
i left there to work at krogers
where we were insanley busy
met thee debbie esteppe FINALLY!
went on break with jesse and our conversation really made me think
about decisions i've made.
your crooked teeth
i hate iCarly i'm glad its off the air.
i can't control how i feel.
i can't just make carly shay not bother me.
i wouldnt wanna be that bitch for a day.
i hate adding ppl on facebook out of obligation.
i paid $30 for a charger that just broke i don't need it im getting a new phone soon.
that just bugs me. i havent had it long and it already broke.
i had three cells on me to confuse me cuz various people had the numbers and
so i carried all three in my lab coats today ha. and even now i missed two calls on the other phone from earlier gahhh.
after work double d's
with eli talked to carissa hannah and kara ! *
had icecream with eli keith and his girl
\
i am going to have some fat paychecks i can't wait
my to-do list is one mile long.
work the marigold
get ready for school
pick up contacts
pay my taxes
make a massage appointment
burn all pictures to disks
burn all pictures.
pick out a new cell phone
mail all letters out
talk to em
sleeeep zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz